Such A Great Move

Craig is doing very well here at home. He is REALLY happy and thriving when not yelling.

On Wednesday he yelled pretty much all day in a hallucination. We repositioned him in different chairs finally, which helped a lot. 

On Thursday he was all smiles all day. Then he became overtired after dinner and started hallucinating and yelling again. After he was put to bed he yelled for about 5 minutes and then fell asleep. I could hear him talking in the middle of the night, so I got up and asked him if everything was OK. He smiled up at me and said "yes". He mumbled something and I told him I was going to be here with him from now on, every day. His smile widened and he told me in a very relieved tone, "Really? Oh good!" Kind of like an excited little kid. I love that about Craig, he always had such a childlike almost innocence about him. The first time he asked me out on a date and I declined him, I felt like I had broken a little boys heart from the look in his eyes. I must've started falling in love with him at that moment but didn't realize it. Over the years his open heart has indelibly planted itself in my heart and soul. I love that.

This morning around 7:30 he was mad and hallucinating again. As he was having breakfast and watching the news, a story came on about someone being pushed onto the subway tracks and being run over by the subway. Craig calmed down and said, "Jesus Christ! What a way to die!" Then he calmed down, finished his breakfast and slept most of the day. He's yelling again....repositioned in another chair, now calm.

He'll always scream - thank you dementia - But it's so nice to have my love home. I can really see now how aware he truly is of his surroundings, what he hears and how much he understands. If he is not hallucinating/yelling he is completely in the moment around him. 

I'm so thankful that he can be home for the remainder of his life. Praying it's longer than the statistics say. As I've stated before Lewy Body stats say he could live 6 - 7 years, others say 2 - 20 years, Alzheimer's statistics say 8 - 10 (if it is indeed a variant). 

He has been robbed of his life twice; first when he walked Christy through cancer and sadly died after 35 years of marriage and now with his own dementia. He has been robbed of his retirement; robbed of the life he had worked hard and been saving for all his life. (Robbed of his life with me! haha) He at least deserves to be home where he wanted to be and as comfortable and happy as can be. He's a good, sweet, loving and generous man. I miss him so much...Sometimes I forget the Craig I married and that always kills me. I want him back so desperately.