"Sorry"

Craig has been much more cognitive these days. This morning he was in a bit of a hallucination when he tried to hit me - it's never a threat, he can't get enough power behind him - and as usual I encouraged him to hit me because it is really good exercise for him. Sometimes we spar for a minute or two. It's really good to get his blood pumping and muscles moving. Then the most amazing thing happened. I was stunned, he stopped as if instantly snapping out of the hallucination and looked at me and said "Sorry". Oh my gosh I almost started crying. It was the sweetest thing. What a connection. Just like the real Craig would do. 

This evening as his caregiver was massaging his legs, Craig winced and his caregiver immediately said, "oh I am so sorry Craig". Craig looked at him and said, "it's okay". Again, just like the real Craig would do. Such a simple act of consideration, but to us, to Craig, these types of connections had been long gone. 

I don't know if it's the slight increase in Seroquel, the Metformin (diabetes medication) or what it is, I'm just absolutely grateful to have a bit of the real Craig back now and again. This is happening more often. I'll take whatever little glimpse I can get. Who knows how much longer he will be here....I hate that thought. He's really very healthy, considering everything he can't do. We take and record his vitals at least twice a day. I miss him. I ache for him...

As I've written about before, bedtime is the special time, the best time with Craig. However, not so much last night! Boy was he in a foul mood! Nothing we could say or do could cajole him into his happy hour. I think he was over-tired because he hadn't napped all day. Once we got him tucked in he closed his eyes and he was OUT. Sound asleep when I checked on him a few minutes later. 

Such changes for him. Gone are the full days of SCREAMING and yelling. Gone are the days of PRN's. A hallucination here or there, but nothing terrible. Keep praying. These are miraculous days.

God be praised!